Where There is Talk, There is Life

One of my favorite writings on group dynamics is a New York Times article from 2016, “What Google Learned From Its Quest to Build the Perfect Team”

The article explores a quest for what makes a successful work team. A quest that was rooted in a desire to be part of community that builds something together. The quest began with a successful group experience that was described in the article as follows: 

“Most of the proposals were impractical, but ‘‘we all felt like we could say anything to each other,’’  ‘‘No one worried that the rest of the team was judging them.’’ 

The research started with a focus on the participants. Did it matter if they were experts, or the smartest? It turned out that is not as important as the atmosphere of the group, referred to in the article as the group norms.

“The right norms, in other words, could raise a group’s collective intelligence, whereas the wrong norms could hobble a team, even if, individually, all the members were exceptionally bright.”

The research narrowed it down to two essential group norms, the importance of everyone getting a chance to talk and the ability of members to to intuit how others felt based on non-verbals, like facial expressions and tone of voice.

“people may speak over one another, go on tangents and socialize instead of remaining focused on the agenda. The team may seem inefficient to a casual observer. But all the team members speak as much as they need to. They are sensitive to one another’s moods and share personal stories and emotions.”

Other behaviors were also named, like clear goals and dependability. And the research emphasized that psychological safety was the most critical factor to making a team work well. In summary the results were: 

“In the best teams, members listen to one another and show sensitivity to feelings and needs.” 

My take away from the article was validation. This is what I have experienced in therapy groups. It reminds me of a classic group dynamics proverb handed down from my mentors “Where there is talk there is life.” The idea is that the content of the talk is less significant than its nature when it comes to cultivating psychological safety.

In my experience with therapy groups as a member, in trainings and as a facilitator a core implicit norm seems to be that not all talk is of equal value. Certain kinds of talk seem to be considered better than other kinds of talk. For example small talk can be considered less valuable than deep emotional expressions in therapy groups. 

Psychological safety in groups is at its simplest is a result of all talk being valued as long as everyone gets a chance to talk and there is sensitivity towards the experiences of others. This premise can free the facilitator from the pressure to make something “deep” happen. To be clear there is nothing wrong with deep emotional communication, unless it is the only kind of communication that is valued or is treated as an end rather than a means. When it is included as a means to psychological safety, along side small talk, joking, compliments, advice and so forth, it creates a culture of inclusion, that welcomes everyones thoughts and feelings as they show up in group. And that creates a climate that invites emotional expression.

The question is how can a group facilitator effectively encourage these norms in a group. Simply instructing a group to behave in this way may have some impact but it alone is not the most effective way. Directing group conversations too tightly can result in unintended consequences, like shame for not having the right thoughts, performative behavior, trying too hard to have some sort of experience, a feeling that there is a right and wrong way and that some do it better than others. The most effective approach is thru modeling and bridging: invite everyone to participate in speaking, model equanimity and non-judgement towards whatever is shared, interrupt individual narratives to include the experiences of others and encourage cross talk.

Whatever the reason for the group, whatever it is that brings the members together, when the facilitator focuses on inviting everyone to express their thoughts and feelings and demonstrates a sensitivity to everyone’s experience in the here and now, the group will follow. The result is enough psychological safety to encourage progressive communication and meaningful interactions.